There’s something about high profile celebrities who get exposed cheating that always seems to grab our attention.
And as a serial cheater – I know the risks of being caught, which is why I’ve managed to go a decade without being rumbled for my affairs – and from celebrities to Average Joes, I teach people that discretion is key.
If you haven’t happened to catch the most recent scandal, Maroon 5’s Adam Levine is the latest celebrity to be outed for his alleged cheating.
Levine is married to the Victoria Secret Model, Behati Prinsloo, who happens to be very pregnant at the moment.
Yet Instagram model Summer Stroh claimed to have had a year-long affair with the singer in a TikTok video posted yesterday.
Levine has of course denied an affair, but does admit to ‘crossing a line’ by sending flirty and sexual messages.
He posted an Instagram story that said: ‘A lot is being said about me right now and I want to clear the air. I used poor judgment in speaking with anyone other than my wife in ANY kind of flirtatious manner.
‘I did not have an affair, nevertheless, I crossed the line during a regrettable period of my life.
‘In certain instances it became inappropriate. I have addressed that and taken proactive steps to remedy this with my family.’
‘My wife and my family is all I care about in this world. To be this naïve and stupid enough to risk the only thing that truly matters to me was the greatest mistake I could ever make,’ he continued.
‘I will never make it again. I take full responsibility. We will get through it and we will get through it together.’
Since the news broke, comedian Maryka and a woman named Alyson Rose have also come out and said that they too received sexual messages from Levine.
It all struck me as a little absurd. Why do famous men who cheat – or cross a line – think they can get away with sending messages from their verified accounts? Or partaking in any behaviours that can easily be traced back to them because of their fame and status?
I own a blog that – while not encouraging men to cheat – helps existing cheaters get away with it in order to protect their families.
I’m the first to admit that cheating is wrong. I’m the first to say I’m broken.
For me, it’s less about having sex with other women, and more about the process: the chase, conquest and accomplishment. Mainly, I find the attention of other women addictive.
It’s not my wife’s fault, just like Adam Levine messaging other women will not be Behati’s fault. I’ve been cheating on girlfriends my whole life and my wife since day one.
This has everything to do with the cheater, or in Adam’s case, line-crosser.
But I also know that my wife and family shouldn’t haven’t to suffer by finding out about my indiscretions. So I do all I can to keep it hidden from them.
I find most men who get exposed do so because they’re either careless or unlucky
My secret to not being outed is just good tradecraft. You know what they say, ‘it’s never the crime that gets people caught, it’s the coverup’ – something that lots of celebrities should clearly have learned from.
I’ve written about the ‘19 things men can do not to get caught’ but to name a few; I keep a burner phone, I never break my routine and disappear for fictitious weekend ‘work trips’ and I always keep a spare set of matching clothes in the car, avoiding the suspicious smell of perfume.
I find most men who get exposed do so because they’re either careless (keeping suspicious messages on their phone) or by being unlucky (being seen at the wrong place and time).
After seeing Levine’s messages though, I’d have to add ‘being incredibly stupid’ to the list.
With someone with so much to lose and a pregnant wife at home, he seems to have gone to no effort to hide or disguise his flirting in the slightest. He never even used apps like Telegram that self delete messages after they’re read.
I can’t work out why Levine didn’t even bother to cover his tracks. Why does someone with global fame make such an amateur mistake?
I’m sure some part of him thought that the women who contacted him would be so flattered they wouldn’t even share it with their friends.
But alas, he was wrong. Summer Stroh shared it with a friend who allegedly tried to sell the story to the media, prompting her to film her viral confession.
If he had not messaged her from these accounts in the first place, she would have no ‘evidence’ to present, keeping his family safe from the truth.
After gaining a measure of notoriety through my blog, I was approached by a B-List sitcom actor.
He had contacted me about some coaching but spent his first 10 minutes confused that I didn’t know who he was – he had a huge ego, and wasn’t anywhere near as famous as Levine.
I vividly remember talking to him about the affair he was having, and spending lots of time to ensure that he was taking steps to prevent the truth emerging, lowering his exposure and making sure there was no hard evidence against him. Which he dutifully did.
But for every smart celebrity or sports personality that hides their affair, there’s a string of them just screaming to have their sins laid bare.
I think Levine is stupid, but I don’t think he’s a terrible person.
Firstly, and I know this is going to be hard to swallow, it is completely possible to love your wife and kids and still have an affair.
As long as you don’t get exposed and no one gets hurt, there’s nothing wrong with having your cake and eating it. Secondly, half the thrill of having an affair is the secrecy, the sneaking around, the covert maneuvers, all adding to the excitement.
Even though I cheat, I frown upon all the celebrities who get caught with their hand in the cookie jar – they have more to lose than anyone and the resources to cover it up with ease.
If you’re the type of person that cheats, I can relate. But if you’re going to do it, at least make the effort to protect your loved ones from your behaviour.
Being discovered will destroy your significant other. It will make them feel worthless and the chances are they are unjustly going to blame themself.
Let’s also not forget the trust issues they’ll be scarred with for life.
Cheating is bad, but not going to the effort of hiding it is worse – and celebrities seem to be some of the worst offenders.
Not being discreet leads to being plastered all over the newspapers, being discreet gets you writing for one.
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